http://herfamilyhateme.blog.co.uk/en-UKMokoFeed10http://herfamilyhateme.blog.co.uk/http://data5.blog.de/design/preview/4d/42c1e0360eb533b4c6b85f800ade50_160x200.jpghttp://herfamilyhateme.blog.co.uk/2007/06/15/1_day_to_go~2457431/tag:herfamilyhateme.blog.co.uk,2007-06-15:/2007/06/15/1_day_to_go~2457431/Fri, 15 Jun 2007 12:34:47 +0200 <p>Sorry, havent been writing much. dont know why. not much has happened since. Ive been pacing myself really well until last night - when it hit me that she might not come back tommorow. its been about 2 weeks and there has been no contact from her. Just need to hold out one more day. My gut is giving me contradictory messages. I feel as if i have arrived at the 'penultimate round'. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://herfamilyhateme.blog.co.uk/2007/06/15/1_day_to_go~2457431/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://herfamilyhateme.blog.co.uk/2007/06/15/1_day_to_go~2457431/#commentshttp://herfamilyhateme.blog.co.uk/2007/05/22/25_days_to_go~2313607/tag:herfamilyhateme.blog.co.uk,2007-05-22:/2007/05/22/25_days_to_go~2313607/Tue, 22 May 2007 12:45:18 +0200 <p>Almost 3 days are done. 25 to go before K comes back from Pakistan - thus completing her part of the bargain with dear daddy. I miss the incessent texting. Not missing her as much as I thought, but maybe its a delayed response. Marking days off on the calander in the kitchen. Still havent heard from her yet but I will start to worry if there is not contact after a week. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://herfamilyhateme.blog.co.uk/2007/05/22/25_days_to_go~2313607/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://herfamilyhateme.blog.co.uk/2007/05/22/25_days_to_go~2313607/#commentshttp://herfamilyhateme.blog.co.uk/2007/05/14/back_to_the_motherland~2269051/tag:herfamilyhateme.blog.co.uk,2007-05-14:/2007/05/14/back_to_the_motherland~2269051/Mon, 14 May 2007 17:57:34 +0200 <p>K's decided to go to Pakistan for a month, as per the deal. Ive dug up a lot of forced marraiges information and addresses/phonenumbers etc. Making sure she covers her back. It could well be she goes and her relatives keep hold of her passport and return ticket until they wear her down long enough for her to agree to marry her cousin. Surely they know that if after a month she is still wants to marry me, the moment she steps on that plane back to Brittania, their 'hounor' is over. Surely they couldnt let that happen and would try every means at their disposal. K seems confident, and funnily enough so am I, or is it just that Ive had enough and a break from this for a month is very much welcomed? If something does happen up there which ends this situation, at least it woudl be decisive and id be free to move on...what am i thinking, is it right...who knows. Anyway Ive told K' to not book any tickets until she drives a hard bargain with dear daddy. Want some rock solid assurances of him that he wont feign anymore heart attacks when she comes back and gives her away to me as he promised his spiritual leader on monday. She might be going this saturday. She's told her manager at work who have kindly given her a holiday for the duration and will get the authorities involved if the isnt back on the return date of her ticket. BRING IT ON!! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://herfamilyhateme.blog.co.uk/2007/05/14/back_to_the_motherland~2269051/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://herfamilyhateme.blog.co.uk/2007/05/14/back_to_the_motherland~2269051/#commentshttp://herfamilyhateme.blog.co.uk/2007/05/08/close_but_no_cigar~2234030/tag:herfamilyhateme.blog.co.uk,2007-05-08:/2007/05/08/close_but_no_cigar~2234030/Tue, 08 May 2007 17:26:37 +0200 <p>What an eventful long weekend. Just a summary - Pir declared on Saturday, that her would come down from Birmigham and take over from K's dad and just perform the marraige - the thinking being as he is the spiritual leader of K's dad, K's dad wouldnt be able to do much. I spoke to Pir myself and asked if it was really going to happen, he sounded really confident and told be to be ready for 3:00 on Monday. Great! I though, this blog will come to an end! Predictably the whole of Sunday was hell at the K houshold. Described as a funeral by K herself, there was endless crying and dad begging her to reconsider before she makes this massive blunder about a zillion times. (and I always thought i was quite a catch!). Anyway after a lot of crying and emotional blackmail - saying that if this happens K would never be allowed to see her family ever again, Pir turns up (late) Monday afternoon to do the deed. Got a phonecall about 9ish saying that the whole thing was off because...listen to this...they feared if they went ahead and did it K's dad might die of a heart attack. I went balistic at this point and almost had one of mt own. Apparantly they reached a compromise. The deal is this. K would have to go to Pakistan for a month. and IF she comes back still wanting to marry me then dad would give in. Sound too good to be true?? It probably damn well is! Stay tuned! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://herfamilyhateme.blog.co.uk/2007/05/08/close_but_no_cigar~2234030/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://herfamilyhateme.blog.co.uk/2007/05/08/close_but_no_cigar~2234030/#commentshttp://herfamilyhateme.blog.co.uk/2007/05/03/resumption_of_abnormality~2202589/tag:herfamilyhateme.blog.co.uk,2007-05-03:/2007/05/03/resumption_of_abnormality~2202589/Thu, 03 May 2007 12:49:31 +0200 <p>Me and K are back on track again just like the good old days. She is sure something positive will come out of tommorrow, with the pir calling round again this time to 'sort it out'. No harm in holding my breath for one more day I suppose. Also not really much action on the matrimonial website I put my profile on. Alas! tis this be a sign? </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://herfamilyhateme.blog.co.uk/2007/05/03/resumption_of_abnormality~2202589/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://herfamilyhateme.blog.co.uk/2007/05/03/resumption_of_abnormality~2202589/#commentshttp://herfamilyhateme.blog.co.uk/2007/05/01/no_contact~2192172/tag:herfamilyhateme.blog.co.uk,2007-05-01:/2007/05/01/no_contact~2192172/Tue, 01 May 2007 18:22:12 +0200 <p>Not sure where any of this is going. Put my picture and profile up on one of them matrimonial websites just to see how many takers respond. Ive got 4 responses so far and it was only uploaded on Sunday, so im not doing too bad. None of them are my type though. Havent spoken to K, thought perhaps Id better clear my head. Im sort of hoping this is a phase, and after a couple of days I can go back to the hell hole or a wait for K wondering if it will ever happen. Nice </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://herfamilyhateme.blog.co.uk/2007/05/01/no_contact~2192172/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://herfamilyhateme.blog.co.uk/2007/05/01/no_contact~2192172/#commentshttp://herfamilyhateme.blog.co.uk/2007/04/30/weird_new_development~2184985/tag:herfamilyhateme.blog.co.uk,2007-04-30:/2007/04/30/weird_new_development~2184985/Mon, 30 Apr 2007 12:57:59 +0200 <p>Strange weekend I had. As I suspected - there was no meeting on Sunday with pir and relatives, as that would be too good to be true. Instead the Pir came on Fri. Didnt know what he chatted about but apparantly he's planning to take over from the father and conduct the ceremony himself. K's mum is insisting on this as she know that most of the family are going to be off to Pakistan in a few weeks time, which would leave K alone and free to run off with me.Anyway I dont want to buy into anything at this stage, had enough knock backs and crushed hopes in this ride already. Want to hear it from the horses mounth with times and dates of when and where I should turn up for my big day. Anyway, really strange thing happened, I went off K over the weekend and embarked on efforts to fined another wife! what the fuck is all that about!!?? </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://herfamilyhateme.blog.co.uk/2007/04/30/weird_new_development~2184985/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://herfamilyhateme.blog.co.uk/2007/04/30/weird_new_development~2184985/#commentshttp://herfamilyhateme.blog.co.uk/2007/04/30/weird_new_development~2184984/tag:herfamilyhateme.blog.co.uk,2007-04-30:/2007/04/30/weird_new_development~2184984/Mon, 30 Apr 2007 12:57:54 +0200 <p>Strange weekend I had. As I suspected - there was no meeting on Sunday with pir and relatives, as that would be too good to be true. Instead the Pir came on Fri. Didnt know what he chatted about but apparantly he's planning to take over from the father and conduct the ceremony himself. K's mum is insisting on this as she know that most of the family are going to be off to Pakistan in a few weeks time, which would leave K alone and free to run off with me.Anyway I dont want to buy into anything at this stage, had enough knock backs and crushed hopes in this ride already. Want to hear it from the horses mounth with times and dates of when and where I should turn up for my big day. Anyway, really strange thing happened, I went off K over the weekend and embarked on efforts to fined another wife! what the fuck is all that about!!?? </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://herfamilyhateme.blog.co.uk/2007/04/30/weird_new_development~2184984/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://herfamilyhateme.blog.co.uk/2007/04/30/weird_new_development~2184984/#commentshttp://herfamilyhateme.blog.co.uk/2007/04/27/arse~2171294/tag:herfamilyhateme.blog.co.uk,2007-04-27:/2007/04/27/arse~2171294/Fri, 27 Apr 2007 15:45:25 +0200 <p>Big day on Sunday, as ‘pir’ and misc relatives are to come down and sort this out. Hoping for them to take over from the father as there really isn’t any point waiting for him to have a change of heart. Looking good as this whole operation is being spearheaded by K’s mum, so the whole thing now has some added weight behind it rather than what it has been up until now which to them is 2 lovesick crazy kids causing a scene. This meeting is what ive been waiting for all week and it could be the turning point ive been praying for. This could be IT!!!! Well guess what, just found out at lunchtime, the meetings been cancelled. Yeah, that’s right, cancelled. Something about maybe coming down next Friday but not sure blah blah blah. It just goes fucking on and on. Why cant people stick to their word these days and actually come down when they’ve promised. Had a go at K and slammed the phone down I was so frustrated. She hasn’t contacted me since. Im really sick of all this bullshit. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://herfamilyhateme.blog.co.uk/2007/04/27/arse~2171294/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://herfamilyhateme.blog.co.uk/2007/04/27/arse~2171294/#commentshttp://herfamilyhateme.blog.co.uk/2007/04/25/another_headache~2158953/tag:herfamilyhateme.blog.co.uk,2007-04-25:/2007/04/25/another_headache~2158953/Wed, 25 Apr 2007 13:51:24 +0200 <p>Have been having rows with K. Situation really getting to us. feel completely drained and rather shit. Will call her today at around 5:30 ish and try smooth things out. Her dads spiritual leader should be comming on Sunday, trying to sort this mess out. I know what you're thinking, been there done it, but its different this time as he will be here on the request of K's mum, who thinks this should be sorted 1 way or another. Lets see what happens. On a lighter note, im looking forward to this week's instalment of the 'Apprentice'. should keep my mind off things for a while. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://herfamilyhateme.blog.co.uk/2007/04/25/another_headache~2158953/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://herfamilyhateme.blog.co.uk/2007/04/25/another_headache~2158953/#commentshttp://herfamilyhateme.blog.co.uk/2007/04/25/another_headache~2158717/tag:herfamilyhateme.blog.co.uk,2007-04-25:/2007/04/25/another_headache~2158717/Wed, 25 Apr 2007 13:03:46 +0200 <p>Have been having rows with K. Situation really getting to us. feel completely drained and rather shit. Will call her today at around 5:30 ish and try smooth things out. Her dads spiritual leader should be comming on Sunday, trying to sort this mess out. I know what you're thinking, been there done it, but its different this time as he will be here on the request of K's mum, who thinks this should be sorted 1 way or another. Lets see what happens. On a lighter note, im looking forward to this week's instalment of the 'Apprentice'. should keep my mind off things for a while. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://herfamilyhateme.blog.co.uk/2007/04/25/another_headache~2158717/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://herfamilyhateme.blog.co.uk/2007/04/25/another_headache~2158717/#commentshttp://herfamilyhateme.blog.co.uk/2007/04/23/weekend_work~2144298/tag:herfamilyhateme.blog.co.uk,2007-04-23:/2007/04/23/weekend_work~2144298/Mon, 23 Apr 2007 09:17:58 +0200 <p>Little bit of progress (I think) over the weekend. Her old man had a chat with her, and told her that he had a word with his brother over in pakistan who asked whether or not K was going to be comming over to be wed, to which he replied he hasnt been able to get her to go. His brother advised him to get rid of K and nevr let her back in the house again..blah blah blah. For me to consider that to be a step in the right direction, should be an indication of how dire this whole situation has been. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://herfamilyhateme.blog.co.uk/2007/04/23/weekend_work~2144298/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://herfamilyhateme.blog.co.uk/2007/04/23/weekend_work~2144298/#commentshttp://herfamilyhateme.blog.co.uk/2007/04/20/just_to_clarify~2128659/tag:herfamilyhateme.blog.co.uk,2007-04-20:/2007/04/20/just_to_clarify~2128659/Fri, 20 Apr 2007 18:00:33 +0200 <p>I know what it must seem like, reading these posts - that I must be a racist of sorts using disparaging terminology such as 'paki'. Well, technically I am what could be described as a 'paki' myself (goodness knows ive been called it many a time by the great British public!). This is what makes the situation so absurd. I am the same colour as them, my parents come from the same land as them, eat the same food, speak the same language etc but yet im still not good enough for their daugter because my parents happen to come from a different area in Pakistan from them. We are from the city whilst they are from the village. For that reason, to them, I am pure scum. I think there is a difference between being 'pakistani' and being a 'paki' When I say 'paki' im referring to the backward ignorant racist practises that unfortunately a lot of people from that region indulge in. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://herfamilyhateme.blog.co.uk/2007/04/20/just_to_clarify~2128659/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://herfamilyhateme.blog.co.uk/2007/04/20/just_to_clarify~2128659/#commentshttp://herfamilyhateme.blog.co.uk/2007/04/19/feeling_crap~2119878/tag:herfamilyhateme.blog.co.uk,2007-04-19:/2007/04/19/feeling_crap~2119878/Thu, 19 Apr 2007 10:40:11 +0200 <p>I really hate that man - her dad. He was on the phone yesterday to one of his relatives telling her that there is now way he would allow this to happen. Ugly man. Told K what I thought of him - which was worse than a pig because at least pigs are pigs because they are created to be so. This ignorant man wallows in the shit of his backward paki culture. Spent a while thinking up different ways of how id like to attack him, and then fell asleep. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://herfamilyhateme.blog.co.uk/2007/04/19/feeling_crap~2119878/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://herfamilyhateme.blog.co.uk/2007/04/19/feeling_crap~2119878/#commentshttp://herfamilyhateme.blog.co.uk/2007/04/18/brief_story_so_far~2114161/tag:herfamilyhateme.blog.co.uk,2007-04-18:/2007/04/18/brief_story_so_far~2114161/Wed, 18 Apr 2007 12:54:22 +0200 <p>In case you are wondering - I have tried all the obvious methods of getting this done. First thing I did was send my mum round to have a work with her parents. My mum got told that I'd be beaten up if I persisted etc etc, which understandably shook her up a bit. Ive tried meeting her brother in order for him to get me in to the parents but all I got was a load of 'im going to find you and kill you you muthaf***er and kill your family etc etc'. The idiot claimed he was in some gang who were not averse to dealing with such slurs on their 'honour'. Interestingly he ended the phone call by saying he was on his way home to give his sister a beating.<br> Another tack I used was to have a work with K's dad's spiritual leader (pir). I gate-crashed one of the pir's spiritual gigs he was hosting in some paki household, laid down a 20 note and presented my case. I thought maybe he could arbitrate with K's dad, myself and the pir in the same room. He didnt much like that idea, i suppose because it was venturing outside his comfort zone somewhat. He was pretty unhelpful and after suggesting that I should leave town and run away with her he promised he'd have *sigh* another word.<br> After the pir hinting to K's dad that his daughter running away might be on the cards (yeah because you suggested it!) if he didnt give in, K's old man then took the liberty of booking K a ticket to Pakistan and told her she's going. After much hullaballo involving K running away twice from her home and staying at a mates house for a few nights, they abandoned the whole 'force-her-to-go-to-pakistan' thing and here we are again. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://herfamilyhateme.blog.co.uk/2007/04/18/brief_story_so_far~2114161/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://herfamilyhateme.blog.co.uk/2007/04/18/brief_story_so_far~2114161/#commentshttp://herfamilyhateme.blog.co.uk/2007/04/14/trying_to_marry_k_an_introduction~2087872/tag:herfamilyhateme.blog.co.uk,2007-04-13:/2007/04/14/trying_to_marry_k_an_introduction~2087872/Sat, 14 Apr 2007 00:22:13 +0200 <p>I proposed to K back in November 2003 when I worked in a call centre. She accepted to marry me but she told me that there was absolutely no way her family would agree to it and allow it to happen. There is no other reason for her family's refusal except that thay are the one of the most jahil (arabic for 'backward/ignorant') paki families you could ever have the displeasure of comming across. You see, before I came along the family already had plans for poor K, which was whether or not she liked it, K would be getting married to one of her village dwelling paki cousins who had been booked to marry her probably around the time of her birth. Obviously my intention to marry K would seriously sour family relations and would scupper someones efforts to gain a British passport. </p> <p>Rather naively I did not see this as any kind of hinderence and took it in the spirit of a challenge. A few days ago I reflected upon the amount of shit im having to go through on a daily basis in order to pull this off and thought perhaps I should share these experiences with the world. </p> <p>This blog is the continuing account of that struggle which I embarked on 3 and a half years ago. to the present day. Enjoy!</p> <p>A</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://herfamilyhateme.blog.co.uk/2007/04/14/trying_to_marry_k_an_introduction~2087872/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://herfamilyhateme.blog.co.uk/2007/04/14/trying_to_marry_k_an_introduction~2087872/#comments